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  • Language of Touch

    The Healing Power of TOUCH comes in many forms and many languages.

    “It is the first language we learn,” said Dacher Keltner, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of “Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life” (Norton, 2009), and remains, he said, “our richest means of emotional expression” throughout life.

    Touch is a language that cross’s all language barriers:
    Passive Touch-Active Touch-Social Touch
    Touch has many different aspects,
    Duration -Location -Action -Intensity -Frequency -Sensation –

    The intention of your touch is most important I believe.

    Psychologists have long studied the grunts and winks of nonverbal communication, the vocal tones and facial expressions that carry emotion. A warm tone of voice, a hostile stare — both have the same meaning in Terre Haute or Timbuktu, and are among dozens of signals that form a universal human vocabulary.

    In recent years some researchers have begun to focus on a different, often more subtle kind of wordless communication.

    Physical contact: momentary touches, they say — whether  a warm hand on the shoulder, quick hug, fist pound, an exuberant high five or belly bump can communicate a wide range of emotions, they can communicate an even wider range of emotion than gestures or expressions, and sometimes do so more quickly and accurately than words.

    The evidence that such messages can lead to clear, almost immediate changes in how people think and behave is accumulating fast. Students who received a supportive touch on the back or arm from a teacher were nearly twice as likely to volunteer in class as those who did not, studies have found. A sympathetic touch from a doctor leaves people with the impression that the visit lasted twice as long, compared with estimates from people who were untouched. Research by Tiffany Field of the Touch Research Institute in Miami has found that a massage from a loved one can not only ease pain but also soothe depression and strengthen a relationship.

    Craig Danehy

    Vent Constructively

    From the Four Agreements Reminder Series

    “Be aware of the quality of your communication. The quality of the communication depends on whether you tune your emotional body to love or to fear. If you know what love is and what fear is, you become aware of the way you communicate your dream to others, and you can choose to communicate with love.” – don Miguel Ruiz 

    What we say – what comes out of us – is a direct reflection of how we feel on the inside.

    To Ponder: Perhaps this is why people feel the need to “vent” – to get all the negativity out. But if we don’t vent constructively, aren’t we really just dumping on someone else, spreading the negativity?

    Take Action: Be aware when you need to vent, and select the right person to vent to. State your intent “Hey, I just need to vent a minute.” Then, either problem solve it, or move on if there’s nothing you can really do about it. Sometimes changing your attitude is the only control you’ll have!

    Laurie Joslin – www.unlimitedcoaching.com

    Re-Align with Yourself!

    From the Four Agreements Reminder Series.

    “All of the drama humans suffer is the result of believing in lies, mainly about ourselves. The first lie we believe is ‘I am not the way I should be; I am not perfect. ‘It’s just a story, but we believe it, and we stop being ourselves and start searching for an image of perfection.” – don Miguel Ruiz

    We get lost trying to please others along the way. When we align with who we really are, then we’ll be the most successful and happiest that we can be.

    To Ponder: Whether it’s a position you are in at work, or personally, is it really something you want to be doing? Are you happy with it?

    Take Action: Pay attention to how you feel. If you are more frustrated and unhappy than you are happy, perhaps it’s time for a change. Maybe you need to go back to who you really are, and find something that you really love to do. It’s way easier to align with something that fits you, than always trying to change to fit into something you’re not.

    Laurie Joslin – www.unlimitedcoaching.com